What Is The Mentality Of A Women That Clings To The Memory Of A Miscarriage After Twenty Years?
Terribly sad and depressed, I should think. The memory will never go completely, but if she dwells on it, perhaps it is because she never got pregnant after that, and missed her chance to have children. If so, she could at least take comfort in the fact that it was an involuntary miscarriage and not an abortion. Some of us have even more to regret than she does!
I think anyone who gets hung up on the past should struggle to pull herself into the present and future by doing something for others. Could she volunteer for a program that helps children? Could she become a surrogate auntie or grandmother to her friends‘ and neighbors’ children? Or maybe she needs to take up a creative hobby, such as making and/or dressing dolls to donate to local charities at Christmastime.
Clinical depression. She needs professional help.
Depends on so many variables it is impossible to give a real helpful answer. However, if I can assume that the person asking the question is the person in question then she may need some professional help. Depression may be the easy answer … Seek some professional help !
My grandmother never forgot a child she had lost for 50 years. It just means you have a strong connection to the lost loved one.
This woman probably never had the chance to properly grieve for her lost child, nor did she probably have adequate support. Well-meaning people can tend to gloss over events such as miscarriage by saying things like “you can always have another one” or “it’s God’s will.” That doesn’t take away the pain of losing something that the woman may have felt was truly a baby, with a face, a name, a personality, and to whom she may have spoken, sung to, and thought about with great anticipation. The woman isn’t clinging, she is stuck. To “let go” of grief, the grief has to be allowed to occur. Some couples and women have funerals, or services, or memorials to their lost child. She could write a letter and burn it so the words and thoughts go into the air with the smoke. She should be encouraged to look online for support groups, which exist. And she needs kindness, understanding, and to not be treated like her loss is an inconvenience to anyone else. She is in pain inside, and 20 years is a long time to hurt.
There are many reasons why people keep holding on. I think that she still refuses to deal with the event. She needs help and understanding to com out of her shell.